First, I would like to wish everyone a Happy New Year! Many people including myself were not excited about the holidays this year including myself. Sometimes we are expected to be happy just because it's the holidays. Yes, I have family that loves me, a roof over my head, and many blessings. I just felt my goals were unfulfilled, and didn't feel like celebrating.
I couldn't wait for this year to be over. I was supposed to be an Ironman this year. Finally, I was going to the end the year at my goal weight. I realized in August, unfortunately, those things weren't going to happen.
While I couldn't wait for the year to be over, I will smile about the positives things that happened this year. The first one was I got to spend an amazing two months of the summer in Mont Tremblant Quebec. The time with my husband and puppies is something I will always smile about and look back on fondly. I learned to advocate for myself. I had to find someone to help treat my thyroid because doctors weren't listening and it was in the "normal" range. Finally, I found someone that said normal is not optimal and realized how symptomatic I was. Since beginning treatment, I have done a total 180. I don't have to sleep 10 to 15 hours a day and feel like exercising and living life.
The last thing is I decided to have my own glow up. It started at the end of 2023 with getting LASIK. To be free from glasses and contacts is amazing. Next, I decided to cut my hair into a pixie cut and color it blonde with a little purple. Originally, I was going to wait until my birthday but it was all I thought about. I constantly thought "I can't wait until around my birthday, when I am going to cut my hair." When I needed a haircut, I thought "What am I waiting for? It's all I think about! Let's do it"
One of my big goals this year is to stop biting my nails. I got a mani/pedi with gel. My nail tech told me I would have to get a manicure every three weeks while my nails grow. I look forward to updating my blog with a picture of my hand as my nails grow. It feels weird to have gel on my nails, and part of me wants to bite at it. The other part of me looks at my sparkly nails and can't wait to have normal nails. I call them princess nails and love them. I also can't wait for them to grow so I can theme my nail colors to the races I am competing in.
Enough of what I am doing. Let's talk about what I am not doing this year.
First, I am not going to be a patient any doctor who will not listen or talk down to me. I have attempted to see a specialist for an ongoing medical issue. My primary doctor is continuing to prescribe me medicine without looking for the source of the issue and just telling me that's the way it is, and I will continue to be put on more medicine as it worsens. This is not an acceptable answer to me. This specialist took one look at me, told me I needed to exercise and eat better, then went into a tangent of what I should eat and how much I should workout, without listening to my story. He then told me my thyroid medicine that was prescribed by a nurse practitioner wasn't a real thyroid medicine and he would decide if I needed thyroid medicine. I'm pretty sure I'm going to cancel my next appointment and go someone else, as I can't imagine seeing him again. I will continue to advocate for myself and I advise anyone else that can to do the same thing. If we start demanding, doctor's listen or don't go to them, maybe things can and will change.
The Golden Girls is an old show, but is one of my all-time favorites. Growing up watching my show with my mother and grand-mother, I thought many of the issues were the minority, not the majority. I spent the first half of my life trying to find answers for my weight struggles. I believed doctor's cared about me, but because they didn't understand the thyroid and how it worked, I was brushed off, told I couldn't eat as well as I did, didn't exercise as much as I did or I wouldn't have a weight problem. I was told I was depressed, had sleep apnea, and neither were true. I felt alone because everyone told me it was my fault, that I was lying, and to toughen up. I felt like no one cared, no one wanted to help, and I wasn't going to find the help I needed, which led to sadness. I feel things like this are becoming more and more of an issue. As many doctors are overworked, many don't have time to research things that they don't normally treat or are "normal" but a patient is symptomatic. With what I went through in the last year, I feel this scene from this show to my core. It is easy for me to identify with this whole episode. I spent many months last year, thinking I was just weak-minded, had no willpower and needed to push through it. Everyone feels like this. I felt I was a wimp and a failure. I am still working on feeling 100% but I am much closer than I was.
I am not going to let one meal determine my whole day. I ate it and enjoyed it. I am going to move on and go back to my healthy habits.
I am not going to miss workouts. I am going to get strong, and fast. I am going to have the most amazing year of my life racing.
I am not going to give up. I am learning that I enjoy writing. I will continue to do it and make a career out of it. I will continue to write about my not-so-Cinderella story of becoming an athlete and achieving the athletic body I dream of. I will continue to enter writing contests and keep this blog going. I will believe in myself and that I can do it.
I hope everyone's year started great and you are planning some great races for the next year. I have several lined up that I look forward to writing about.
Once again Happy New Year! Let's make this year great!
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